How long to wait for reconciliation

This time however seems more serious Allthough I hope she will come back in a couple of months This is the reason why I would probably not reconcile. I know that Breakups can happen with anybody at anytime but you would always have it in the back of your mind that they did it once So she broke up with you after 5 years, and you didn't contact each other for 3 weeks, and then for the next 7 months she initiated most all of the contact?

What stopped you two from getting back together within those 7 months? She had to figure out her life and there was another guy involved. She needed time to be able to make a decision.

Unfortunately I learned that after this second break up she's rebounding again with the same guy Let's hope he messes up again, which will drive her right back to me. I would not be hoping for that if I were you no one is learning anything here. Not her, not you. We'll see, I'll give it some time, and quite frankly at this point in time, hope is what keeps me going. No -- not whatever works. Because it is a short term solution to a problem no one is trying to solve. You do yourself and your self esteem a disservice to continually take her back.

Because you know she will leave again. You deserve better. And until you believe that, you will settle for 2nd best. If hoping allows me to do my job in a good way, and to continue to live my life, it's the good solution for me.

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Start new topic. Recommended Posts. Posted October 23, Have you ever broken up with your ex girlfriend or boyfriend? But she also said that the relationship might suffer the same hardships if the parties involved stayed in the exact same headspace as before. It can be easy to think, "I love them, I miss them, so we can figure everything else out along the way," but in general, it may be better to get to the root of the problem before you decide to try again.

So, how much time should you wait before you consider getting back with an ex? Well, it really just depends on you, and on them.

What was the reason for the breakup? Do you want to get back together for the right reasons? Can you work through your problems? Yet another mistake that people make is to threaten divorce before using good connection skills to build the relationship first. If your spouse has no renewed interest in you, then a divorce intervention is not likely to work.

Do you remember when you found out your relationship was in trouble? How at that time your feelings of love for your spouse intensified? That is because feelings of being in love are partially provoked by the feeling that we could lose our partner. If you have always pursued your spouse or assured him or her that you would just be standing by in case he or she changes his or her mind about the relationship, then you have taken away any fear your spouse might have about losing you.

Once again, it is necessary to build your relationship before attempting to provoke such anxiety. They feel relieved. Build your relationship and be the kind of person that your spouse will have regrets about losing. Then begin to take the relationship away from your spouse and see what happens.

The results will absolutely let you know whether you are wasting your time waiting for your spouse or whether there is real hope for reconciliation. If you would like extra help with becoming the kind of person that your spouse does not want to lose, I would be happy to coach you. As always, my goal is not only to save your relationship, but to help you to have one that is meaningful and fulfilling. Skip to content The longer you wait for your spouse to reconcile, the more your window of opportunity will close.

You can do things to reconcile, even after a long separation I often receive email from people who have been separated for anywhere from six months to 5 years. Why your separated spouse may prefer a long separation rather than reconciling or filing for divorce If I am working with someone when they first separate, we have two goals which occur simultaneously. When the momentum changes, so must the intervention There will come a point after separation when the connection skills are maintaining the relationship, but no longer improving it.

How satisfied are you with your long separation? Giving reconciling your best shot after two months of no growth It will be tempting to give up your boundaries and let your spouse have his or cake and eat it, too.

Following through with the intervention If your spouse makes renewed efforts to build your relationship, you should continue to connect with your spouse, while still keeping your separation boundaries.

Where many people go wrong Many people threaten to divorce without actually following through with filing. The threat of loss can provoke feelings of love even after a long separation Do you remember when you found out your relationship was in trouble?